Instructions on what to do when you feel broken…

My friend, you don’t have to do a single. damn. thing. It might be that your system just needs you to let it feel broken for a while. Could it be that inside all that exhausting effort of trying to fix yourself, to heal, to show up more fully, to live a more present life, you just need to lay your weary self down? You don’t have to hide your brokenness from the prying eyes of the world to be ok. You really don’t. 

The effort of trying not to be broken, of pretending everything is ok, exhausts us. Give yourself a loving rest. Be broken for a while. Stay. Soak in your brokenness. The healing practices, self help books, meditations - set that all down. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what practices I do. There are times I feel like I’m sinking into a long dark hole and I can’t meditate my way out of it. The most graceful thing I can do is to say a tender “yes” to all the broken and sad parts of me. Sometimes the bravest thing I can do is say “I feel like shit right now.” 

Here’s part of a poem by Jeff Foster that inspired me to write this. It’s from a book of poems called “You Were Never Broken” which, thankfully, I found tucked in the bottom of the bookshelf one particularly dark night. 

“Feeling like shit”

can be the most spiritual feeling of all,

a unique gateway to grace,

as sacred as the most profound joy,

as holy as the most transcendent, ecstatic bliss. 

You forge a new spirituality 

in each moment you stay in the that broken place,

infusing the shitty sadness with your brilliant light,

permeating the shitty loneliness with attention.

What would it be like to soak your brokenness in loving attention? Stay when the pain wells up. Where does it hit you? In the chest? Is it a gut punch to your belly? Stay right there. Be with the part of you that hates how broken you feel. Give that part your loving attention too. And if you can’t love anything, anyone, much less yourself, be with that too.  

So here's permission for the shitty sadness. Our pain is just as sacred as our joy. Bless it, love on it, be tender with it. Get curious about it. Ask yourself, what needs to be witnessed here? 

A pure witness is powerful medicine. No evaluating. No fixing. Sometimes your own witnessing is all you need. Sometimes the loving presence of a coach can help you stay close to yourself. Whatever it is, there’s no practice I’m suggesting here. No journaling prompts this time. 

Just the invitation to go ahead and say a loving “yes” to whatever part of you that feels like shit. 

With love for your broken parts, from mine,

Liz